It was a very educational day. On Friday, I needed clothes hangers and facial scrub, so it was clearly time for a Target run...since I refuse to shop at WallyWorld unless I have to.

It was my day off...on my day off, I always "reuse" the pants from the day before if they are clean and presentable...and they were...khakis...and it was warming back up, so I grabbed the only clean polo-stlye shirt in the drawer without thinking...bright red.

So I pull my Forrester into a slot way too close to the door (I should have known) and proceded in to make my few purchases...

The little hand basket caddy was empty and I didn't want to push around a cart for just a couple of items...so I wandered into the cosmetics (you know how that section is right there next to the door in Target Heartland stores?) to get my facial scrub. I barely had it in my hand when the sweetest older woman roughly the size of a Hobbit approched me and asked, so nicely, "Excuse me, but do you know where the laundry detergent is?" I thought it an odd request, but it reminded my that I wanted to get some of that new Tide Cold Water formula, so I said, "Sure, follow me." This is, after all, where I buy my laundry detergent, so I knew it was two aisles over.

Accepting her thanks, I grabbed the 32 load bottle of the aforementioned revolutionary laundry product and headed two more aisles over where I remembered the hangers were...As I was deciding between the heavy duty and the regular plastic hangers (ultimately 9 of each, they come in 3-packs), a man of indeterminate middle-European birth took a step towards me and asked, "Isn't this on special?" indicating the jumbo clothing lint roller in his hand.

In a split second I thought, "Why the hell should I know, why does he..." And it hit me...khakis....red polo style shirt....All I needed was a badge and a haggard expression and I was RevTargetClerk... I nicely explained that I didn't work there, inspiring gales of laughter from his wife who was still kidding him (or making fun of me?) about it 5 minutes later when they passed me standing in front of the sale DVD's--I looked but didn't buy--holding my Tide, facial scrub, and 6 packages of hangers...quite two handsful.

It was one of those pricelessly clueless moments...I dressed knowing I was going to Target...Have I become so single, so middle-aged, so hopelessly lackadaisical vis-a-vis my appearance that I didn't notice I was decking myself for a career in low-cost retail? How pathetic...

As I approached the checkout, the Hobbitesque woman was in the next line...It took a few moments, but she looked at me...at my pile of things now inching forward on the belt beside me, including the bright orange tube I clearly wasn't restocking...I saw her look at the cashier, apparently seeing the name tag...and then look back at me and I felt her gaze fall on my plastic-free left chest. Our eyes met for just a moment, and she flushed scarlet (a very UN-midwestern reaction)...I just said, "any time" and smiled. She smiled back...

Maybe next time I'll wear periwinkle to the Blockbuster...

It almost made the dent in my car I found on my exit worth it. It was one of the first times something happened to me where my second thought was...got to blog this...