So...after these very, very moving, deep, intense conversations in my flights in and out of New Orleans...my flight to Chicago from Dallas was...well....different.

She was about 50, dressed in black and orange...very, very fashionably so. When I approached our two-seat row, her bag was in my chair and she was chatting away with someone on her cell in a soft, yet sophisticated southern accent (later identified contextually as her new boyfriend...okay so I overheard...It was hard not to). There were people behind me who needed to get passed me so we could all get on the plane. It was one of those regional jets with no legroom so I couldn't slip into the row and stand while she moved her bag.

"Excuse me" I said, with that expresseion that communicates, 'I'm sitting next to you, I'm sorry, It's a full flight, can you move that bag?'

She actually held up her hand in that, "just a minute I'm on the phone" way and so I waited a few moments while she rearranged herself and pulled the bag onto her lap. While I sat down and got myself situated with my book ("Son of a Witch," the "Wicked" sequel), she proceeded to tell whoever she was talking to that she was being crowded by having to share her row and lamenting that she had taken this flight...and I'm leaning out into the aisle as I am wont to do in those settings so my girth DOESN'T crowd her...this harrangue continues with one or two not so veiled references to how much more comfortable she would have been in first class...blah, blah, blah...

Then, when the doors are closed, she proceeds to continue her phone conversation, "hiding" the phone every time a flight attendant walks by. She fools noone, but instead of confronting her, they play the "turn off your cell phones" recording that American uses on the regional jets...TWICE...At this point a number of folks are looking at her like she's going to crash the plane if she doesn't turn it off...but not me...I'm just reading and trying not to fume...'Maybe she's had a bad day,' I'm telling myself...'maybe there's a reason she's being a total witch.'

So then we're up and flying...and they start the beverage service...she grunts her request for diet Pepsi..."not diet Coke"...and the flight attendant, who I've noticed hasn't been giving people the cans, brings her the can of Diet Pepsi...in solidarity with my oppressed sister who's clearly smiling through her venomous feelings as she passes the can to La Diva, demonstrating she's actually good at what she does, I thank her profusely for my glass of water....La Diva offers no response or thanks...And Heroic Flight Attendant (Heroic F.A.) remains graceful.

A half hour later, La Diva sneezes, and I say, "bless you" and smile...and she looks at me...and then looks back at her magazine with no response... At this point, my pastoral identity totally abandons me and I begin to pray that her fake Fendi luggage has been diverted to Baghdad...

Then, the flight is almost over, thank heavens...and the same, very sweet (if unfortuately coifed---sort of a miniature blond homage to the three tiered wedding cake) Heroic F.A. is coming down the aisle collecting cups, trash, etc. As she approaches us, from behind, she turns first to the folks even with us across the aisle...and while she is graciously receiving their waste materials, La Diva reaches across me and starts tugging on her jacket! It's not like she wasn't about to turn to us.

La Diva never says a word, she just continues to tug until my new hero turns to us, smiling...La Diva then, without a word, holds her trash in front of my face for me to pass it to the Heroic F.A., with whom I share a conspiratorial smile.

What is up with this woman? I showered, shaved, used anti-perspirant, even used breath strips after lunch at the airport. The Heroic F.A. was gracious, friendly without being obnoxiously perky...We were all perfectly pleasant to this woman...and it's not like she was angry or openly hostile...It's just that she treated us with disdain bordering on contempt.

(sigh)

What a downer end to an otherwise memorable weekend.
Mean people suck...but so do arrogantly disdainful ones.