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Ondine She's got everything she needs, She's an artist, she don't look back. She's got everything she needs, She's an artist, she don't look back. She can take the dark out of the nighttime And paint the daytime black. --Bob Dylan 2005-10-24 11:01 AM Calling Dr. Freud Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (0) |
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I never want to get into a relationship again where I find in order to keep it going, I have to give up my soul, air, enough space to stand straight, etc etc. So, I am working hard in therapy about who pushes the oedipal buttons and why. My biological father was this beautiful quiet man, an artist, soft spoken with one blue eye and one green eye. He had no sharp edges, so one assumed one could move in close and not get stuck or stabbed. On the dark side, he was an alcoholic who left us, left me. We resumed a loving relationship when I was in my 20s, but that was too late. Damage had been done. I loved him so much and my heart is still broken. Meeting men who remind me of my dad takes my breath away (note above goals). When that happens, I find it almost impossible to see them as them and not an extenstion of my electra complex. I am going to work on this. I am done not breathing. I want to stand straight. |
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