In a matter of hours, a man will be put to death for crimes he committed three decades ago. Somehow, I didn't see him being granted clemency by the man who once said "Hey Sully, remember when I said I was going to kill you last? I lied." So, in a Stephen Colbert mocking Bill O'Reilly type segment, I will do my first(and possible last, after pending litigation)"Tip of the cap, wag of the finger."

The tip of the cap goes to Stanley Tookie Williams. After arriving on death row as a complete miscreant 24 years ago, he has written books and worked to make sure that other youngsters do not make the same mistakes as he did. You fucked up big time, Tookie. But regardless of your motives, you are at least trying to fix things.

Should he die? I don't claim to know the law well enough to make a ruling based on legal evidence and precendents, but from a simple humanistic point of view, I would have to say no. To put it in terms you might understand, governor, let us look at the entertainment industry.

In "Batman and Robin," Mr. Freeze has plans, along with Poison Ivy, to destroy humanity. After the heroes foil his plans, they do not kill him. Rather, because Mr. Freeze agrees to use your powers for good rather than evil, they allow him to do so from behind bars.

Does this movie sound familiar, Gov-nah? It should: YOU played Mr. Freeze!!! (ZING!) I assume you believe in the ideas portrayed in the movie, because you accepted $25 million in pay. (Literally, he was paid $25 million.) Tookie Williams, on the other hand, has not received any money for the work he has done to earn him five Nobel Peace Prize nominations.

Or perhaps we can look at your co-star from "Conan the Barbarian," James Earl Jones. You might remember his role as the voice of Darth Vader in the "Star Wars" movies. In the end, he listened to the good that was still in him.

Silly analogies, perhaps. But real life also shows us that no man is beyond redemption, and it is not up to us to take that opportunity from him.

The brings us to the wag of the finger, going to the death penalty. Unless a man is threatening your right to life at that moment, you have no right to threaten his. None. Forget about what he's done in the past. Nothing in this world is definite--anyone who has had the chance to read even a little bit of Socrates knows how fruitless of a task it is to be 100 percent sure of anything.

I wouldn't make this point except for the fact the we constantly hear about people exonerated for crimes they supposedly committed in the 70s and 80s because of DNA evidence. Sometimes, I guess, it turns out that "evidence beyond a reasonable doubt" turns out not to be so objective. Whoops.

Maybe Tookie personally killed 4 people, maybe he didn't. In either case, an eye for an eye is not the solution. Even if it was, you'd have to kill him four times.

Another wag of the finger goes to the people of California especially, as well as to America as a whole. I bet it seemed real cute when you voted for Schwarzenegger a few years back. "He was just adorable in Junior," you probably said to yourselves. Forget about how awesome he was in Predator, you elected a man who took steroids to gain his massive size, then refused to take "no" for an answer from his female counterparts. This behavior is generally frowned upon, unless it comes from a celebrity. Not only was Schwarzenegger given the chance for redemtion, he has lived out the American dream. Ironic, no?

But maybe that's just me.