Note: Entry read to the tune of "Alice's Restaurant" by Arlo Guthrie, although it's not quite as long as that song because that song is 18 minutes and 20 seconds long and not too many people out there are trying to read blog entries that are 18 minutes and 20 seconds long so I condensed this entry to as short as it reasonably could be but still tell the story in a compelling fashion, or at least what I felt was a compelling fashion while still being not too long.

As I left work tonight at about a quarter after nine, I was overcome with the urge to get a chocolate milkshake so I got into my car and started driving and the first place I saw that might just serve me that chocolate milkshake was McDonald's, so sure enough I turned off the highway and into McDonald's to get me that chocolate milkshake but no sooner than I had, did I notice a small army of about 200 middle school students inside that McDonald's all congregating to get themselves Big Macs and quarter pounders with cheese and chicken selects, and maybe even a combo with the drink and the french fries on the side, so I figured, shoot, I sure enough wasn't going to get a milkshake at the drive-thru window, not as long as that small army of middle school students was in there ordering Big Macs and quarter pounders with cheese, so sure enough did I drive through the drive-thru, only I had the same amount of money on me as when I'd entered and the same amount of chocolate milkshakes, with zero,so I had accomplished little else than simply driving through the drive-thru and the whole trip off the highway seemed pretty worthless, so I got back on the highway and kept driving in search of that chocolate milkshake.

If this was "Alice's Restaurant" by Arlo Guthrie, then there'd be some sort of chorus to be sung here, only this isn't "Alice's Restaurant" by Arlo Guthrie because, as I explained, that song is 18 minutes and 20 seconds long and I tried to condense this blog entry because there aren't too many people out there that are trying to read a blog entry that takes them 18 minutes and 20 seconds to read, and shoot, I sure ain't trying to write an entry that takes people 18 minutes and 20 seconds to read because there's no telling how long it might take me to even write an entry of that length.

So as I was saying I left that drive-thru from McDonald's and got back onto the highway, still looking for that chocolate shake after not having been able to get one at McDonald's on account of the small army of middle school students and all and having left work at about a quarter after nine. Not long after leaving McDonald's I noticed a Hardee's on the other side of the road, well that's not to say that I noticed it, shoot, I'd always known it'd been there, having driving down that very road past that very McDonald's and that very Hardee's many times before after having left work at around a quarter after nine, but this time I thought I might just go on over and get myself a chocolate milkshake, which I hadn't been able to do at McDonald's on account of the whole army of middle school children, but then I decided nah, I'd have to pull a u-turn to reach that Hardee's on account of it being on the other side of the highway, which is perhaps really more of a parkway, but anyway I decided I would just stop at the Burger King, on the same side of the road that I was, since it would be quicker and on account of time being valuable and all and not wanting to waste it.

Well I pulled into that Burger King drive-thru, and it looked promising, there not being a small army of middle school children in the establishment, and the Burger King greeted me on the drive-thru speaker and asked me if it could take my order, and I said sure enough, I would like to order a chocolate milkshake, having not been able to order one at McDonald's and Burger King letting you have it your way and all, but that very same Burger King replied to me that the Burger King no longer had any shakes on him, so I said thank you and just as soon went on my way, but I wasn't able to drive through this drive-thru on account of there being a car in front of me waiting for its order and there only being one lane to drive through, so I put the car in reverse and would have just as soon backed out of that drive-thru had there not been a car pulling into the Burger King to place an order, only i hope it wasn't trying to order a shake, cause the Burger King no longer had any of them on him, and there I was, stuck between two cars in the drive-thru, not being able to drive through it. Well, I waited for a good few minutes for that car in front of me to get its order from the Burger King and get going on its way, only thing was the Burger King wasn't giving the car in front of me its order, so there I was stuck between two cars in the Burger King drive-thru for what felt like hours and I remember thinking I WANNA KILL!!! I WANNA KILL!!! Only thing was killing somebody wouldn't have done me no good, for if I'd killed the car in front of me, that surely wouldn't have done no good cause then I'd still be stuck, and if I killed the Burger King, well that would result in the same situation, with the car in front of me waiting for its order and all, but not getting it cause the Burger King would have been dead, and if I'd killed the car behind me, well heck, that certainly wouldn't have solved anything, for then it would have still been behind me with me still unable to drive through the drive-thru and all. So finally, after what felt like an eternity the Burger King gave the car in front of me its order and after the car checked its order to make sure the Burger King got everything alright, well he pulled out and I was finally able to drive through the Burger King drive-thru, once again with no chocolate milkshake, just like at the McDonald's.

Well after having driven through two drive-thrus and still not having any chocolate milkshake, on account of the small army of middle school children at the McDonald's and the Burger King being all out of milkshakes, I decided I sure as heck wasn't returning home without getting a damned milkshake, so I drove back up the highway, which is really more of a parkway, back to the Hardee's which I'd driven by before on account of it taking me more time to make a u-turn and get to that side of the road. Well no sooner had I pulled into the Hardee's drive-thru than the Hardee's asked me if I'd like to try a combo, and I said no, I'd tried the combos before but that wasn't what I was here for, I was here for a chocolate milkshake, not having been able to get one at the McDonald's or the Burger King. So the Hardee's told me it would be two dollars and ninety three cents for a medium chocolate milkshake and I remember thinking to myself, well that seems awfully steep for a chocolate milkshake, medium-sized, but then I remembered not having been able to get one at the McDonald's or the Burger King at all, not even for two dollars and ninety three cents, so I said thank you and I drove up to the window, except there was a car waiting at the window, so I waited behind the car until the Hardee's gave the car its order, and when it did, I pulled up to the window and I gave the Hardee's two dollars and ninety three cents and the Hardee's gave me a medium chocolate milkshake and I told the Hardee's thank you and I drove through the drive-thru with a chocolate milkshake, something I'd been unable to do both at the McDonald's, where there'd been a small army of middle school children, and at the Burger King, where the King had no milkshakes and for some time I'd been unable to drive through the drive-thru.

If this had been "Alice's Restaurant" by Arlo Guthrie, I'd have had some sort of conclusive chorus and this point, but this isn't "Alice's Restaurant," because like I said, that song is 18 minutes and 20 seconds long and on one wants to read a blog entry that's 18 minutes and 20 seconds long, so I cut out all the things, like the chorus, that I thought I could and still preserve the integrity of this blog entry and still make it compelling to read while telling the story of getting the milkshake at the Hardee's after not having been able to get one at the McDonald's or from the Burger King.

Thank you. If you read all the way to the end, congrats.