So I skittle over to the Author's Den version of Nick's retarded little book, after reading he's got his shark story up as the preview.

Well, if that's the preview, I DEFINATELY wouldn't want the book now.

Not only was the first two pages full of grammatical errors and simple lack of structure, it was redundant, repetative and had no flow to it. It might, MIGHT have been a good topic for a horror story, but in the hands of Mr. Nickolaus Pacione, good ideas turn to utter vomit.

Question, Nick. If this Shark was a ghost, how the BLOODY HELL could someone notice it's "smile"? The size of it?

Another point of contention: The fish thrashed off part of his arm, when the friend went to rescue him the arm almost came off. Ms. London's older brother is an oceanographer. She was an amateur journalist.

Um... that whole little exerpt is wrong, Nick. The sentence structure is... non existant, and again, redundant. Either it thrashed off his arm, or it came off because of the rescue. And those last two sentences could be combined.

But as an "editor", you should have KNOWN that.

Also, you said this:

felt my brother was screaming but wasn't able to hear it.

And then you say:

He stared at the water, and all he heard in the water was his brother's screams.

So... which is it, could the man hear his brother's screams, or couldn't he?

This is typical of your work, Nick; sloppy, unedited and... retarded as hell, for lack of a better phrase.

Stick to collecting your Government checks, Nick, and "threatening" people, and leave the writing to REAL writers.