Anne,

Before I forget, I had a dream about Eric last night. And one last week. You know as well as I do that that does not bode well. I hope to god he doesnt try to get in contact with me, or that I dont run into him somewhere. I am still very pissed off at him. Who the fuck did he think he was anyway? Most of what pisses me off is I let him in. Right after promising I wouldnt. Then he fucked me over. I hope every time he hears any fiona apple song he cringes. I know that last time I saw him at the nectarine and refused to acknowledge his presence it killed him. Good. I hope every time he is reminded of me he feels like shit. Bastard. If I had my wish, I would lock him in a room and play one song over and over and over until I knew he understood it's meaning. So, if you are out there Eric, enjoy.

Never Is A Promise
Fiona Apple

You'll never see - the courage I know
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view
I'll never glow - the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch; I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention - to you

You'll say you understand, but you don't understand
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie

You'll never touch - these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown - to you

You'll say, Don't fear your dreams, it's easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie

You'll never live the life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention - to you

You'll say you understand, you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie