Anne,

Her burial was awful. While we were standing there, they lowered the coffin, put down that concrete slab, backed the truck up and filled it in. I was horrifed. Her family seemed to have requested it, but god. My dad and I both freaked and left. I so dont want to be buried in the ground. I dont know what freaks me out so bad. Just the idea. I am so afraid that my spirit will be drawn to my body and wander around waiting for someone who can see me. I am glad she was buried close by though. I can go and visit. I will miss her. She is what I expect to end up like really. With all those cats. It is just that she loved all of us. Every single one. And with her big family she still had time for ours. Always coming to birthdays and weddings. And Apa died so long ago. Many in his family kind of forgot us, but not Tia. She took such good care of my Ama. Always taking her to the doctor, out to eat, shopping. Whatever she needed. I know she is really hurting. Tia charged her with being there for her youngest son, Pablito. It was what she asked Ama on her death bed. To be there for him and make her passing easier. I know they probobly had a bargain really. Whoever died first would comfort the others family. Tia's death has scared me. I know my Ama could go at any time. And I see her resolve wearing down. She doesnt want to live as much as she used to. No matter how much I want to get down on my knees and beg the powers that be to spare her, I cant do it. I can only offer the same prayer for her that I did for Tia when she first took sick. "If she has to go, please make her passing as painless as possible. She has suffered so much already." I miss you Tia, and I promise to visit soon. Maybe when they get the dirt from texas, I will help put it on your grave.