So after recieving his emails yesterday, when he got home I laid down with him and we talked. Straight talk for over an hour and a half. Thought it was good. we were close. No funny stuff, but close stuff. Then I started to get up. Well, after I got up, he started to get upset. OH yeah, even though he had stated up front that I misunderstood, laying down together afterwork was not suppose to automatically mean (fill in the blank) he was trying to make it mean it. Then it turned into "you didn't let me bring my things to the table". Things finally settled down some, we went to bed, but my back hurt. He rubbed my back, but since I didn't make a move to get romantic-he got feelings hurt. I was tired-I know my diverticulitis causes anemia and we both know that causes tiredness. He didn't hear me say, goodnight, I love you. Or, hold me. I didn't turn on my side like normal-He got mad and got up. I did not chase after him this time-I needed to sleep-I was still hoping to make it to work. Yeah, right. I am so tired of this. How do I stop my body from reacting-the pain is real-the other side effects are real.

He did say something last night that I thought was funny. He said that the reason we didn't have this much problem earlier in our marriage is because I was out of the house 2-3 nights a week with "church activities". HuH? 1 night a week was boyscouts-Wednesdays. And for a little while maybe 1 night a month with a church leadership program. Then Sunday church. But I had friends that I could and did call. that I visited-that I could walk/drive to their house without notice and drop in if things were really bad and if they weren't home-someone was. (usually called and made plans to meet up) Here it is just him. and this site and one other. So forgive me if it all comes out here.