Well, I think I got a real burst of it last night. My stomach was still acting funny and sore. Some laundry had to be done-DH said he would do. We ordered out for supper and I got my usual egg drop soup-it works wonders for upset stomach and when my conditions flare, it is what can be tolerated.

Well, I spilled some on myself. After removing my clothes and putting them in the pile to be washed, and taking care to make sure I wasn't burned (it was hot!), I went to the computer to continue researching for a pattern to knit my DH a sweater. The local yarn shop(YS) is having a class that I want to take. Well I found 1 site that had several for sale. DH chest is one measurement, his stomach larger. According to the YS owner, I need to buy pattern based on larger size. Apparently I made a comment that "He liked" that pattern. He took it to mean that I wasn't continuing my search.

I didn't clean the egg off my top. I didn't tell him I was continuing to search. He doesn't understand how patterns can be adjusted-and wouldn't listen. I found another that he liked that went larger-but he insisted that it would be too large in the shoulders. He won't just say if he likes a particular pattern or not. Between the egg and the pattern he started on me about both and intermingled topics. And forgot when he told me to make the sweater for myself. Then he couldn't understand why I was upset.

I apologized for the egg issue- I messed up there, but it wasn't a big deal.

After we both calmed down, I made the suggestion that when he was upset about something, we resolve that one issue first then address the next issue. You would have thought that proposed nuclear war! When I advised that this was for both of us, he doesn't believe it. But most of his arguements go on like this-we will start on one thing and all of a sudden other topics are in and he is mixing them up and I end up confused and of course, I AM AT FAULT. No more.

TT is right, I do need help. This has been going on strong for almost a year now. With the exception of a couple of months where I was really striving to do it all, I don't know if I can continue. I am at work, and he called to tell me that he was doing all this to 'protect you.' All this is being very meek and yes mannish, and saying "I'm sorry" for no reason. It is as cloying as him always wanting to be around me. I just realized, HE IS ALWAYS AROUND ME EVEN WHEN WE ARE NOT TOGETHER. When we are not together he is in my brain. Even when I am crocheting he is there. The only time he is not is when I am reading-and am lost in that world. No wonder I want to read alot. TT you are right, I do need help.