Sorry to miss you all. Yes the insides didn't take well to all of the upsets.

And now I am being accused of not wanting a true partnership, but wanting to be the "alpha". He is doing the poor me. I am not buying it. If I was going overboard, I am sure you all would let me know in a heartbeat. He is saying that he is a yes husband, whatever I want. He's afraid now to even kiss me cause I may take it the wrong way. Excuse me? I try on the boots we got through mail order and you make a remark, yeah, I am going to react. (I was in a long dowdy bathrobe and these nice boots-he tried to say I was sexy. HUH?)

Attacks were coming hot and heavy for the past 3 nights. I am proud of myself. Monday night I wasn't feeling too bad, but did eat something that disagreed with stomach and started to trigger...Then he started in on me, when we had come to an agreement.

Tuesday the same thing, I start feeling better and around 6 he starts again... Wednesday he started at 5, mainly because I didn't feel like cuddling and it started out then and escaleted.

Difference this time is that I am not backing down. I am solid. Myself. Not changing. Even when he pulls out the "you're not thinking of the relationship" or "you're not thinking of me" cards. My answer was,"for once, no, I am thinking of what I need to be happy in the relationship." He came back with, "What did TT tell you these things?" MY answer was, "WTF? Where are you coming from? No. I thought about how I was the first few years of our marriage when we BOTH were truly happy. What was I doing? And that is what I based everything on."

He didn't like that. And I found out that he didn't remember the couples we hung out with, even the one that let me stay with them when I couldn't stay with my dad any longer when he was in training. He 'doesn't remember them" at all. BS!

The capper was when he asked me what I was afraid of Monday and I told him that I was afraid that I would be looking for a place to live for me and the cat. He asked, then these are dealbreakers. And I told him yes. He did not like that. And off we went again-basically that I was only thinking about myself and not the relationship etc. And I stood firm. As all of you have said, when it is enough, it is enough. And I have had enough.

The most telling part of our argument on Monday was when he said "But I am in a wheelchair, I can't..." I cut in with 'So what? People in wheelchairs do all sorts of things, including play basketball. So I don't want to hear it." He didn't like that.

Then today, I came into work and let my boss know that when I went home Monday, what I was facing. And the effects this has had on my health. He agrees and cited resources, including lawyers that are available through work. So much nicer than previous boss.

So, here you got it. He is still throwing up arguements. And he will, as I told him, change is hard and he is being required to change. And this overall will be great for him and the relationship. He doesn't see it. He may never see it. It will be his loss if he doesn't let it come..because if he continues to fight it, he WILL lose everything. I am not going to be unhappy forever, nor will I fight everyday anymore.