Someone has said, "You will know when it has been enough." I guess I hit that spot. I have told B that I will love him forever, and I will. However, I know I cannot live like this forever and I refuse to do so. End of story. He cannot understand the difference. To him, if I can love him forever, I should be able to suffer forever. No. A forever love doesn't mean that personalities can live together or should put up with bad behavior. He doesn't want to seek outside assistance to deal with what we are trying to work through. He is afraid to since when he was a teenager he went to family counseling. He was pointed out to be the 'problem'. Of course, family did not continue counseling for him to help with the problem. So, he is just afraid that he is the problem now-and so it perpetuates. I am probably not helping. I don't know how to help. So I am taking care of myself the best I can. (now he is using the fact that once again we owe taxes so we can't afford to pay for counseling). I have had enough. No changes on his part and saying that I am involved in taking care of myself. I told him that I have to be true to myself before I can be true to anyone else. He doesn't like that I am putting myself first in this.

Sorry, an awful lot of 'I's in this blog now.