Silly Thinking

Hi everyone and welcome to "Silly Thinking with Douglas Lain" now union made.

It's time for our regular Tuesday feature the very popular "Celebrinet" so let's go to Ft. Lauderdale and our own Sy Gold....

HI YA KIDDIES THIS IS SY GOLD SAYING YOU READ IT HERE FIRST!!!!

FLASH UPDATE!!
You read here it last week!!! QUENTIN DRUNKENTINO'S slurry visit to the JAY LOONYLENO TONIGHT SHOW was reported here last week and since then all the wire services picked up the story. Seems DRUNKENTINO said he wanted to bring back the old days of JOHNNY CARSON'S SHOW by getting drunk and being abrasive.
I don't think QUENCHIN ever watched the show, but for the record LOONY dosen't seem to have either.


INSULT TO INJURY! DOUBLE FLASH!
This week DRUNKENTINO hits the couch with ABC'S JIMMY KIMMEL. Good luck JIMMY. KIMMEL'S other guest that night will be WHAT'S LEFT OF BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT. KIMMEL'S juvenile yock fest is bad enough already without these two HASBEEN'S mucking it up. DON'T LIGHT A MATCH JIMMY!!!!
YOU READ HERE FIRST!!!!


USED TO BE VIRGIN BRITNEY SPEARS sez she slept with JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE because she thought they would marry someday.
TRY IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND BRITS!
The CONFUSED ONE TIME VIRGIN (WEREN'T WE ALL???!!!) also said she was the MAN in the relationship and "...I DID DO THE THING WITH HIM...I DON'T THINK IT'S A BAD THING. JUST BECAUSE I'VE ADMITTED TO HAVING SEX DOSEN'T MAKE ME A BAD PERSON.." NOOOO PRETTNEY it dosen't but ENDLESSLY TALKING ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE IN THE NATIONAL PRESS DOES... YOU IDIOT!!!!! Kids today! YOU READ IT HERE FIRST!!!!


TREELIKE JEFF (USED TO BE SOMEBODY) GOOLDBLUM is engaged to stage actress CATHERINE WEREFORD. I hope she's as tall as first wife GEENA DAVIS and not as full of sap!!! YOU READ IT HERE FIRST!!!!


YOU READ IT HERE LAST WEEK!! AUSSIE BLONDIE NICOLE (FORMER BEARDED LADY) KIDMAN IS HOT AND HEAVY WITH LENNY KRAVITZ.After we "outed" her romance with the rocker last week she now admits it. KEEP READING OLD SY NICOLE BABY!!! YOU READ HERE FIRST...AGAIN!!!!


MARRIAGE DESTROYER AND FORMER AMERICAN SWEETHEART MEGGIE POO RYAN is on the prowl again!! After single handedly destroying her marriage to DENNIS QUAIDLUDE and slugging it out with AUSSIE HEARTHROB RUSSELL EATCROWE she now says she likes marriage and wants to DO IT AGAIN.
The LITTLE BLONDE VIPER has her beaddy blues locked on JOHN CUSACK. I like CUSACK. Seems like a nice guy. RUN JOHN CUSACK!! RUN!!! YOU DON'T HAVE MAIL!!! SAY ANYTHING BUT RUN!!! MARRIAGE TO LITTLE MISS TERMINATOR WILL REDEFINE GROSSE POINT BLANKE!!! IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!! RUN!!!! YOU READ IT HERE FIRST...JOHN!


And finally kiddies... Brother of DWEEZIL AND MOON UNIT and son to FRANK... AHMET (ZIPPY) ZAPPA is engaged to actress SELMA BLAIR. Good luck kids.
Note to Selma: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU NAME THE KIDS!!!!


Well that's all the dirt fit to print. By the way a BIG THANK YOU TO DOUGLLY WOUGGLY LAIN FOR ALL THE FAB FOTO'S. I PLAY THE PICTURE GAME EVERY WEEK. DO YOU...KIDDIES UHMM?
YOU READ IT HERE FIRST!!!!!!!!!!

Remember to enter your choices for todays mix-n-match celebrity photo crazy game! Here are last week's crazy answers! Woah!!!

1. Froggy Bruce Willis brings Cousteau and his wetsuit to mind.
2. It's a secret!
3. Loony Loons loon loon loon.
4. Nicole Kidman is hot.
5. Hefty Comic Drew Carey deserves a pitchman.
6. Uma Thurman is hot.
7. Washed up Pop star equals washed up pop bottle.
8. What to do when the Apocalypse arrives? Head to the Heliport.

As Molly Ringwald sez:

I think Nicole Kidman is Hot!