So I was just moody and cranky yesterday.

In tears last night and this morning.

Couldn't sleep.

Up early to get ready.

And Dylan was her usual sweet and wonderful self.

She was actually up and awake (not just up to eat) this morning - laughing and playing. When we got to the center, she went to the teacher with no problems at all. She even gave the teacher and another baby smiles.

And I do get to go back in a few hours to see/nurse her. And this set up does allow me to be with her an extra few hours a day (to and from work and lunchtime).

So why the hell am I so upset? I don't know. I just feel, in some way, that I'm letting her down. That Dylan is actually going to be raised by people other than her family. And why did I have a kid in the first place if I'm not going to be home with her.

Intellectually, I do know that I'm being ridiculous. She's not going to forget me, prefer her daycare teachers instead, stop loving me or be mistreated in any way shape or form. I know this. And I'll get past it soon. But right now really, really, really sucks.

Bleah.