Guruzilla's /var/log/knowledge-junkie
["the chatter of a missionary sysadmin"]

trying not to try

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.rod laver grand slam title - lets make some racke

This is the part where we rock out.

One of the reasons I've stayed with Christian metal over the years is that the best of them (and who needs the rest, like anything else) not only rock your face off, as is proper and truly correct, but the power is directed, focused onto the subject at hand. And metal lends itself to heavy topics *cough*.

So, the metal-rap fusion is a delicious thing to blare in the cube farm. It warns away the typical casual chatter (essential for the introvert), and both warns of and relieves the tensions of dealing with fscking DOS, M$-Windoze, aaaaaaaaaarrrrgh, DOWN NOT ACROSS.

I hear the ticking as it pounds in my brain
Tick tock - make it stop
It's got me tripping & I think I'm insane
Tick tock - make it stop

Okay, well, loud=destructive->therapeutic isn't especially a news flash, I know. But what about when they turn the focus a little closer to home? Oh, not so funny then, perhaps.

My silly little parody becomes me
when I look in the mirror I'm the only chump I see
big headed tough guy think I'm kind of fly
you want to step up son? - well don't even try
Who's the chump now?

Careful where you point that thing, it's aimed right at my ego, and the flesh is pretty invested in that, you know? Once you get started, it's hard to get off track, if the music is driving.

When your basic Barry Manilow clone is crooning about death and life, you pretty much can write him off -- the entire context belies the seriousness of the words (deconstructs it, if you will). If, however, a man pours his entire being into his voice, strains to the utmost his fingers, ears, leaps in the air, it's possible he means what he says. When not abused, the effect is similar in text, too: JESUS IS LORD.

All right, maybe not that analogous. But I don't shout just to hear myself. Today, a rather crazy day, was practically a sinkhole of sin and self-pitying waiting to happen; lots of jamming to .rod laver was a smack in the head to keep me on the straight and narrow...

Can we pretend that we just met - cause my bet is you'll forget all about my debt

My heart feels torn to shreds - by my greed - my spirit feels so dead - my soul bleeds - all I want is to be led - help succeed - all I need is to be fed - now freed - take me back

That, that's what I mean by life and death, the plea for resurrection. Simul iustus et peccator. We carry about in ourselves the death of Jesus, so his life can be manifest in us.

Rock out to .rod laver for today's example, excerpts from trying not to try.

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