It's funny to me how the mind works...my thoughts seem to wander aimlessly. I begin thinking about one thing and end up clear across the planet, comtemplating something else entirely.

This morning when I woke up, I was thinking about the weather..how odd its been this year...hardly any winter at all and spring-like days appearing out of nowhere.

Then I started thinking about when my kids were little and used to play football in our side yard...well, not really a yard, more of a mud pit. They were fun days, I just didn't realize it at the time. Too busy trying to put food on the table I guess. But, as I look back, they were the "good old days"...times were different, and so were we.

Out of nowhere came thoughts about my Hospice patients..who they were, why I couldn't remember some of their names, how they lived the last days of their lives. They are never morbid thoughts. Much the opposite, they are thoughts of love unbounded, peace and serinity.

I seldom think about my cancer, most days it just doesn't occur to me at all...but today...it did. I have to go have my port flushed every 4 or 5 weeks and that always tweaks the thought that it may come back...or that it never really ever left at all. I don't know why I do that to myself...I feel good most of the time except for the usual complaints of old bones and tired muscles. Thankfully, those thoughts don't stay with me very long.

It just amazes me how many different ways our minds seem to work...happy, sad, angry...all the emotions come and go. Is it random? Or is it at will? I dunno...the only thing I know is that I am as happy as I allow myself to be.