Every time I talk to one of the kids on the phone, it conjurs up memories of when they were little. I talked to both FF and SS..numbers 1 and 3 respectively..last night. They always make me laugh...that's one of the reasons I like talking to them. They were pretty funny kids and even in the tough times, we always found time to laugh.

Because finances were often tight, pasta was a frequent meal...cheap and filling. I remember when CC, #4 child was about 6 years old and it was one of those pasta nights. As was our custom, one of the youngins would always say grace before we ate dinner.

CC bowed his head in reverence and prayed: " Oh God..spaghetti again...thanks a lot."

Life was probably hardest on FF...she was the oldest and everything was tested out on her first. She was the one who would issue warnings to the rest of the clan. I don't think the younger ones ever really appreciated what she went through...perhaps they do now, but at the time, they just considered her rather bossy. She was the mini-mother.

As she grew older though, she extracted her revenge on me on many occasions. Especially when we would go shopping together...the Dollar Store was often one of our favorite excursions. She would chase me up and down the aisle with the cheap perfume they sell and spray it all over me. I would spend the rest of the day smelling like a Saturday night ho...and she would laugh til tears came to her eyes.

I tried hard not to interfer in their arguments but sometimes it was just impossible not to step in. For them, the worst punishment was to sit them in chairs opposite each other..a time out so to speak. After about five minutes of name calling and placing blame, they would end up laughing out loud. Then I would make them hug and kiss each other...aaaaugh! I thought it was pretty funny, I'm not sure how much this contributed to their need for therapy as adults.

Lordy, I could go on and on thinking about those little kids...its hard to believe it was all so long ago..time sure does fly. I don't know what I would do differently..at the time it seemed I was doing the best I could. In the back of my mind though, I often wonder if it was enough.

I suppose every mother does.