Riding home in the car today after grocery shopping, a gospel tune came on the radio. It was the Oakridge Boys and they were singing about "no tears in heaven".

I got to thinking about that...it made me wonder if I would be happy with that arrangement.

I'm not a crier, by nature or nuture, I'm not sure. I've always thought of crying as a kind of weakness. Maybe its because as child my mother would always say: " If you don't stop that crying right now, I'll give you something to cry about." Scarey thought.

Or, maybe its vanity...I look so ugly when I cry...face all wrinkled up....snot pouring down my nose..horrible sounds escaping my lips. Nope, not a very pretty sight.

Very few people have seen me cry. I try hard not to do it at all but often my best efforts fail. My heart tells me that's a good thing but my head argues the point.

I got to thinking today for the reasons I cry. Certainly feelings are the impetus...sadness, pain, joy, sorrow, anger, compassion...depression..the list is endless.

Most obviously, I cry when people I love die...sometimes openly, most often privately. I cry at tv commercials. Seeing a critter lying in the road, a victim of road kill, will bring forth the saline drip.

An unexpected surprise, a boquet of flowers, a kind word, a cruel word, a pat on the back, an unwarranted slander, the betrayal of a friend, the kindness of a stranger, the love of a child, hate, greed, cruelty...so many, many reasons to cry.

I cried when I learned I had cancer and I felt a sense of doom. When the last radiation treatment was completed, I cried because my family and friends were standing there when I came out of the treatment room. I was surrounded with flowers, balloons, tons of love, and a sense of celebration.

Tears are a wonderful release...not during, but most always after a "bad" cry. There is a sense of relief that comes when the crying ends. The "good" tears bring an increased sense of joy that lingers long after the tears have dried up.

I still don't like crying but the older I get, the easier the tears flow. Tears allow my heart to speak when words fail me.

Crying is a good thing, I just don't like the process.