this account was originally supposed to be about michael jackson, but upon further speculation, i realize i need to vent about my family.

i seriously do not understand how i am related to these people.

my mother and father hate each other. they do not talk to each other, do not look at each other, and to put it simply, they ain't getting any, either. all of this makes me never want to get married.

then there's my wonderful little sister, the apple of my parent's eye. they love her more than me and have felt the need to tell me this. my sister voluntarily cleans the bathroom. out of her own free will. in fact, she asked my mom if she could do it. ASKED her. she also likes to bake and watch the cooking channel with my mom. for christmas she got an apron and she was so happy and she just had to break it in by baking cookies with it. my sister is 11 years old and sleeps in my mother's bed with her. my father sleeps in my sister's room, and i guess i am being odd by actually sleeping in my own god damn room.

it's very wrong to hte your family because they are your flesh and blood and they are always there when you need them. that's a fucking load of crap. my mother has never been there when i needed her. she grounded me on the day taryn died because i was upset and didn't want to talk about anything. if i cry about anything, she yells at me. and no matter what i start to talk about, she turns it into a lecture about my future and the SAT's and why can't i get into an AP class. oh, that's another thing i can't get over. "Amanda, why don't you sign up for an AP course?" you don'tfucking SIGN UP you stupid beast, you have to be smart and get recommended for it and shit. and when i told her that she was like well you know if you studied more you could get into one.

no


i

couldnt.

fuck you.

i hate her. i fucking hate her. nothing i ever do is any good for her. i got 5 a's on my report card and she still complains that i don't work hard enough. she was like "i never see you do your homework." because i fucking do it in my room, you asswipe. just because idon't prance around the house with my homework attached to my ass so she can see doesn't mean i don't do it. and she's always making up fucking lies. like yesterday, i went to a sporting goods store with joe and his sister to look at snow pants because i want to buy some. because she works there, she said she would put them on hold for me if i liked any. so i called my mom just to let her know where i was and what i was doing. so the next day, after she had already put the fucking pants on hold for me, my mother was like, i saw these snow pants for $30 at another store. so i said, well you could have told me that a little earlier, like before i went through the trouble of getting those other pants.and she was like, ohhh you never told me you were getting them, bla bla. i fucking did too, you stupid fucking lying sack of food. she just changes stories so that it looks like i'm the one who messed up. and i'm glad we're not going on vacation this year because she would just dangle that in my face like she does with everything. she can take the $2000 and go buy adriana all her little gameboys. oh, speaking of adriana. adriana gets whatever she wants. if she wants a build-a-bear, she gets one. if she wants a computer game or a gameboy game, she gets that too. oh little princess's eyelash fell off, she better stay home from school.

this is my final thought towards my mother. mom, you're a waste. i wish you had never given birth to me. i cannot wait until i go to college because then i will not have to see you or hear you and i don't even wanna come home and visit. and when i get older i am moving really far away and i never wanna see you because i hate you. that is all.