today as i sat in class listening to the seniors talk about the college application process, i wished it could all be over, i wish that there was no such thing as college, that i could just get out and do what i wanted to do. and today as my mother accused me of having no real ambition i thought to myself, hm, maybe she's right, maybe i am just a lazy piece of refuse, suckling off the hard work of others. but i don't know. going to college does not interest me whatsoever. i mean, maybe if i wanted to grow up, get a nice little job, get married, and have kids, college would seem cool. but it doesn't. all i want to do is going to my little acting school, act, and write.

but where is it written that the formula to being successful entails going to college and then shriveling before the cold unfeeling glare of a computer, so convienently running microsoft, which by the way SUCKS because for the past couple months internet explorer has veen dragging in all sorts of viruses and spyware which have hindered the performance of this poor little machine until finally one bright sunday morning my father deleted the piece of shit. anyway, no one ever said that was the only way you could make money. sure people are successful that way, but does that mean everyone has to be like that? no. and from my experience at the humble little dairy queen, i can assure all of those in doubt that it does not matter how much money you get, nothing is worth it if you hate the job. nothing. so i have decided to keep in mind what these kind souls are telling me about college, but not to let it run my life, because it's my god damn life, and i don't want to spend the rest of my life sitting behind a desk and having people spit all over me as they pace around a small office and dictate to me what they want written in their memoirs. and that's why i am not going to plan anything too much, i am going to this school during the summer, and something tells me that stuff will not be the same after that...i guess it's intuition. but anyway, time for some fun stuff.

i have decided to create a will in the unfortunate case of my untimely death.

1. allison shall recieve my clothes, shoes, etc. she shall also receive my diaries, including this one, so that she may publish them and then make lots of money off of my witty and dry sense of sarcasm. not.
2. my family gets a swift kick in the ass.
3. ryan gets my dairy queen uniform, my bed, my stereo, my pillow, my stuffed elephant, all my cds, my socks, and a bottle of perfume to remember me by.
4. daity queen employees get a lock of my hair.
5. jordan gets the book from freshman year, my makeup, my hair gel, and my deodorant which smells really good. she shall also receive all pictures of my hamsters, which she shall treasure.
5. mr kenduck gets a slap across the face as well as all my history notes, which he must eat, and my history text book which he shall shove up his ass.
6. everyone at school gets a q tip.
7. claudia gets my fart goo. please, use it wisely.



and now for my living will.

in the case that i become a vegetable, i donate the following items to science:
my eyes, my left breast, my hands, my feet, and my mouth. the rest of me shall be burned and then sent in a space shuttle to orbit around the earth so that i can continue to watch everyone and laugh. that is all.