In response to an entry that Liz wrote, I have decided to put in my own two cents about the opposite sex.

I think guys are really cool. They're so much fun to hang out with. They sit there, watch tv and play video games, make farting noises at appropriate times, and tell dirty jokes. They don't care about anything. They make fun of each other, their hair is messy, sometimes they smell. Yea, they're awesome.

Enter girls. Girls are frilly and high maintainence. They want attention. They want jewelery. They want guys to remember such non important dates like anniversaries and birthdays of hamsters. They want the same crotch scratching breed of human to realize what delicate, impressionable people they are--to cherish them and put them above activities like Xbox and paintball. It's not gonna happen.

This is the conclusion I have made after going through several relationships and being the third, sometimes fifth wheel on more than one occasion. Guys are really very simple. They mean what they say most of the time and they don't give stupid maybe he does maybe he doesn't bullshit. If they're not interested in you, then give up. Relationships in high school don't work. When will people realize that? Once you get over the initial "god you're so hot" thing there's nothing left unless you like to fuck a lot. Most of these flings sizzle and die within a few months with the exception of that couple who goes out forever. Who knows. Some people really have what it takes to be in a steady, serious relationship. But I have learned not to bother. Why bust my ass for some teenage pubescent boy who would rather be drinking out of a milk carton. I'm busy. I don't have time to listen to excuses of why he couldn't hang out or why he was checking out that girl's ass. I'd rather be at Shoprite running deli meats across a scanner because at least then I could get paid for being miserable. Anything having to do with a guy all ends the same way. You really like him at first and then you a)realize what a disgusting greasy asshole he is and wonder why you ever wasted your time, b)gradually not talk to him until lines of communication are non existent, or c)you continue to really like him until he breaks the news that it's over. Then you cry, eat shitty food, talk to your friends, buy yourself something you really don't need, and the cycle begins again. There. I have figured out the entire dating scenario in this, the 17th year of my life. Go me.

And what's with girls forming all these checklists about how the perfect guy would act? "He would bring me flowers everyday and call me for no reason other than to say he loves me and he would always choose me over his friends to hang out with and he would buy me expensive gifts because I'm such a wonderful person and he would tell me what a wonderful person I am all the time and he would let me hold the remote and tell him how to drive." Do you think you're actually going to find a guy who will meet all your fairy tale needs? No. If he smokes pot and scratches his ass, chances are you won't be able to mold him into some wonderful loving hopeless romantic. What is a hopeless romantic anyway? Hopeless? What? Who makes these things up? Anyway, sometimes girls are really, really stupid. And guys can be large assholes. We balance out.

I want to take a limo to prom. Everyone keeps telling me it's too expensive. Bullshit it is. This is my senior prom and I will not be going in a fucking Honda Accord. My ideal man would say, "Fuck this. I'm not going to the prom in a Honda Accord. We're getting a limo." And then he would get one and it would be awesome. But that won't happen, so I don't care if I have to work extra hours at Shprite. I'm taking a limo.