In one way, I suppose, I have been "in denial" for some time, knowingly burning the candle at both ends and finding that it often gives a lovely light. But for precisely that reason, I can't see myself smiting my brow with shock or hear myself whining about how it's all so unfair: I have been taunting the Reaper into taking a free scythe in my direction and have now succumbed to something so predictable and banal that it bores even me. Rage would be beside the point for the same reason. Instead, I am badly oppressed by a gnawing sense of waste. I had real plans for my next decade and felt I'd worked hard enough to earn it. Will I really not live to see my children married? To watch the World Trade Center rise again? To read--if not indeed write--the obituaries of elderly villains like Henry Kissinger and Joseph Ratzinger?

as we stood arm in arm in the street, a couple guys from Puente asked if we would help unfold a banner and hold it up. The banner was very large. About 40 of us stood holding it with one hand, clutching the arm or hand of the person next to us, we were in a large circle. Another group sat on mats on the ground and locked arms with one another. In what seemed like just a few minutes, we were surrounded by police in riot gear, I estimated about 100, Jan said more like 200. They stood facing us, than formed a group in front of and behind us. I was terrified. I prayed for strength. Our group was singing, chanting, some of us were crying, we were sweating, volunteers were pouring water over us to keep us cool. I looked from face to face, some of the women it seemed were glowing, it was though they had been transfigured. They were serene, confident, peaceful. They started singing breathe, this stopped my heart from beating so fast. The Latino guys were almost overcome with emotion, they were so grateful to us for standing with them.

...members of the Sheriff's Department began to question me.
Why did you a black woman and all these white people come here to get arrested? None of you are Latino, why are you here? I said we are here to support our brothers and sisters. He said was it worth it? I said I am honored to have stood on the side of love. One of them was clearly angry, he asked where I was from, another said "you should have stayed out of this" "you don't know the whole story, these people are criminals." I replied that is the same as saying all black men are criminals. I continued, saying that white women had stood with blacks during the civil rights movement, defying their husbands, risking their lives and financial support. Someone behind me yelled, yeah but you were not here illegally. I figured I had best shut up, before I was put back in that isolated cell again.

After being in Phoenix, I can tell you what having "America's Toughest Sheriff" does for white people and people of color. It has everyone living in fear. White people are living in constant fear of the "other" and people of color are living in constant fear of being targeted and picked up by the police and ICE, whether they're citizens or not.

One of Arpaio's favorite tactics is to stop anyone who looks "suspicious" while driving. I met an Arizona State University international student who is in the US legally on a student visa, paying $20,000 in out-of-state tuition yearly. To avoid any run-ins with the police, he has mostly stopped driving, unless he's with white friends. He is planning to transfer to a California school in the fall.