the methods and means of procrastination

how not to be seen.

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Context: home
Sounds/Songs: traffic on wet highway, soft thuds from the workers next door.
Book: I feel sick
Film: I Claudius, the first disk
What I need right now is...my fish.

There is nothing I enjoy more than skipping work. There is something fundimentally satisfying knowing that there is some place I need to be, some thing I must do. It warms my home in some way - makes my house more of a nest [habitat]. With guru couched to some extent this week, I've felt more freedom of movement within our little apartment. I begin to see how I would change and rearrange the space in the front room - I begin to pick up and put away the bobbles and misfit documentation. It stops being a space and becomes a nest.
The front room has always bothered me. The flow is all wrong.

In theory I should be illustrating, and I may in time do this, but I may also put on another pot of coffee and watch the traffic from my front stoop. In between I run oj and water to the guru, who is alternately sleeping and reading for the day. I've got a nasty headache from the glue they used to seal the windows, which lead to strange, though not bad, dreams. I can't tell if i'm exhausted or sick. I think I was even being pshycosamatic going down to florida. My whole system is just foobared.

The good news is that I have a stack of dvd's from netflix and I've uncovered the tv (which was blocked by our christmas tree for the last part of the year) so I may just crash back there until I feel better.

The tree. God. What a horror. It was they type of tree that dropped needles anyway, but by the time we got back, it had become a hollow shell of the season. Like a snowflake. If you touched it, a whole branch would disolve into a shower of needles.I removed it lastnight, though we were sick, and tired, and just generally not well. My neighbor summed it up: "It's Jan. 4, its ok to take the tree out, you know?" So much of what we do, we do out of the habit of obligation.

So now we begin the long recovery of the holidays. Between the end of the world, the begining of time, the travel and the obligations, is it any wonder that I disolve in this holiday?

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