the methods and means of procrastination

this doesn't feel like a fight
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Had a pretty good trip to D.C. of our own this weekend, though we didn't do half so much as the able mizu. Most mornings we slept in. Most evenings we stayed up late watching cable. In between we ate at a lot of diners, and saw a lot of art. We spent 1 whole day crawling the National Gallery, even visiting the East Wing of the Modern Art. Though I'm not really what you would call a "fan" of the contemporary movements, I found that I'd run into to a Jasper Johns or an Andy Warhol and now understand more about what they were doing. I am so glad aip made/let me take the art history survey class. In another life, I would have been an art historian.

The other day we were there, we hit all the hard to get to places by metro, namely arlington cemetery and the jefferson monument. It ate up a lot of our time, but honestly, it was nice not to rush things and explore as well as lounge.

Not much planned for the fourth. Barb-q chicken on Friday. Gaming on Sat or Sun. I hope to have time to brush up on my encounters, maybe even organize my notes before we game. I did a bit of reading in the car, but I need a good solid couple of days to work on it.

I'm also kevetching about the work situation again. I'm feeling very out to sea about it at the moment. For some reason I feel I'm chasing after the wrong carrot. That I've got to choose between a Career and some opportunities that have presented themselves. If I didn't have to worry about money, I would probably take the opportunities because they will be fun and free of restrictions. But I can't help but feel that my skills will be obsolete in a few years unless I can keep my hand in the industry for some reason. I don't know where I picked that idea up, but it can't be right. If I'm working and paying the bills, what self-esteem am I losing?

I know part of this is related to the last time I was trying to get a job in a new field. I felt I had to reinvent the wheel, or at least myself everytime I wanted to get a job, establish authority, add weight to my words. It was tiring and maddening. I have no wish to return to it. I just want to design. I don't want to keep having to prove myself over and over and over. I mean, in the end, either what I'm doing works or it doesn't. I am running out of patience with always having to start at square one. I'm afraid these opportunites might just lead me to something like that down the road. On the other hand, I already have weight through my work, and this doesn't feel like a fight.

What's Playing: bothered (otr)
Book: The Long Walk
Film/TV: Upstairs Downstairs

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