My office recently moved. We used to be on the same street as Sex World. Now we're around the corner from Deja Vu Showgirls. It's still a step up. Thankfully, we're still only one block away from the world famous, open 24 hours a day, adult themed super store. I felt lucky and privileged to be able to make a quick afternoon run. Also, it's not everyday you have a reason to go to Sex World. I'm leaving for Vegas tomorrow and I had to pick up some treats for CL's bachelorette party. I was going to try Party City, but Sex World seemed the better choice.

SL and I had a lovely lunch at Marysburg Books, as we have been daily now that our office is down the street. After we ate, we walked over to the seedy looking neon-clad building. A man was outside sweeping the sidewalk. He and his friend started to make comments about us, but they got quiet when we turned and walked into the store. We were silent too.

"OMG I'm in Sex World during the day. OMG. OMG." I walked in trying not to touch anything. We got carded at the main counter, of course. I asked the guy if it was ok to bring our beverages in. I assured him they were non-alcoholic. He said ok.

It's been a few years since my last Sex World adventure. Usually they happen after bar close when I'm too drunk to protest. This time it was a little less scary, but very sobering. I forgot how blatant everything is. Videos showing on multiple screens. Noises coming from everywhere. The girls in the glass boxes who dance with lingerie on were eating lunch. In their glass boxes. With their lingerie on. Weird.

I walked back to where I remembered seeing bachelorette stuff the last time I was there. I wasn't greeted by Suck-for-a-Buck tee shirts. Instead there was a sign that said "Party Gifts have been moved to the 3rd floor." Great. The 3rd floor is where the "booths" are. Ew. SL and I made our way to the elevator. Ew. I feel like everything in that store is covered in grossness. The elevator probably being almost as dirty as the booths themselves.

We got to the 3rd floor after what seemed like the longest elevator ride ever. We walked past the booth entrance to the gifts. I noticed a cute pile of stuffed animals on sale. They were called Weenie Babies. Cute little stuffed animals with ENORMOUS male genitalia. Kind of funny, mostly gross. And kind of horrifying. What if one of those made it into the hands of an unsuspecting child?? He/She'd be traumatized for life!

I browsed through the clothes and shoes for a bit. That is until I heard the noises coming from the booths on the other side of the wall and I ran back to the gifts. After looking for 20 minutes or so, I decided on a sparkly tiara that said Bachelorette across the top, a shot-glass "diamond" ring, clever pins that said things like "Take a Chance, Ask me to Dance!", a blinking heart/penis necklace, and the best one of all... a larger-than-life-sized penis sucker cleverly titled "Lollicock". It was strawberry flavored! Mmm! (Btw, I hated everything I bought. Bachelorette parties are so not my style. but I was the only girl attending CL's celebration beside the boys going for PS's coinciding bachelor party. I had to get her something!)

Aside from being raped at the checkout counter (those 5 items cost me almost $50!!) my day-time Sex World trip was a good one. Way less scary than the last time I was there. That time a creepy old man tried to talk to me as I was giggling at the Dirty Sanchez mouth. I looked up to give him one of my "go away" looks only to see his baseball hat that said "Number One Grandpa!"

OMG.

PS - trying to find the website for Sex World while at work was dangerous. That's why there isn't a link for Deja Vu. Or any of the items I bought. Google them if you're curious. :)